Opinion piece: Why does it matter using people's pronouns?

Today's topic of the blog is about pronouns. I get sick of people moaning or complaining about pronouns as if they do not have any. It does make me question if they think about things. We all have pronouns - I, you, me, we, they, he, she, him, them, her, our for example. Personally, if you have a political agenda that stops you accepting what is a simple fact then maybe you want to rethink your political agenda.

Let me tell you a story... I was once applying for a job and in the application there was a section on how to respond to a customer complaining. In the given scenario, the person was referred to as "they" and a name was not provided. Further to this, there was no image for anyone to able to define them or stereotype them or gender them. But they were just " a customer" with a "they" pronoun. This did not automatically mean that they were non-binary but that their pronouns were unknown and therefore given a gender-neutral pronoun. This example just establishes how easy it is to use "they/them/theirs" as a pronouns option for someone. If you look in a dictionary it might well highlight the multiple definitions including a singular pronoun and a multiple person pronoun.

Using someone's correct pronouns is also respectful. You might not be someone who finds an incorrect pronoun bothers you. But for some people, it hurts as they might not feel seen or valid. This is the most important reason to use the pronouns someone has asked you to use. Now of course people are prone to making mistakes and sometimes people are unaware. This is common with who do not know you. The thing is that mistakes are made although there is no need to make a big deal out of it. A small apology and a future effort to get it right is what would be a good idea. It might take you a little while to get used to it but practise makes perfect. Some pronouns that people use in relation to their gender identity are: 'he/him/his', 'she/her/hers', 'they/them/theirs','Xe/Xem/Xirs' and 'Ze/Hir/Hirs'. Pronouns do not have to directly match to a set gender though. It is up to each person what their pronouns are and you can help make their lives that little bit brighter by using their correct pronouns.

Until next time,

Thomas (they/them).